Mother's Day Q+A with our Founder, Aerin Nicole
If there is one thing to be grateful for during this pandemic, it’s that we have been blessed with more time together with our families. How do you set boundaries for your work-life and home-life?
The best way to separate work and home life is to have a physical boundary between the two. This can be difficult, especially as many people are actually working from home. That said, any way to delineate your work space and “home” will help you to feel that you are not always at work. In my experience, if your work is in the same location as your living space, it is very easy to slip into the pattern of working constantly. You’ll just get one more thing done...and now two hours later you are still working. It’s important to take some time for yourself and to connect with your family and loved ones, so the work day must have an ending so that you can walk away for a period of time.
The idea of your company came to you while you were on bedrest with your little kicker, aka Kickee Pants. In what ways has being a mom continued to inspire your designs throughout the years? Has it been more challenging over the last year?
My children continue to inspire my collections and as they have gotten older, have been able to more directly contribute ideas. I am also regularly inspired by the Kickee families that support us. I get to watch their little ones grow up as well and I am inspired by their lives and stories. I am also inspired by the travel that I do, and I usually travel quite frequently. In the last year that came to a halt as it did for everyone, and I did find that especially challenging. That said, what we lost in some ways, we gained in others and I think the collection ultimately did not suffer as a result. I just simply shifted perspective a little.
It is hard to make time for ourselves as moms. Many of us also work, are teaching our children at home, and more. Do you have any tips on self-care?
I think it is in our nature as mothers to put our children first, and I don’t think there is anything that I can say about self care that will change that. We will always put our children first and therefore, we will lack time to do many things for ourselves. While I absolutely believe self care is important, I think we need to change our definition of success in that area. Firstly, we should forgive ourselves for being unable to do EVERYTHING. We simply can’t. So, if you are wearing the same sweatpants as yesterday and your hair is in a messy bun and your kitchen is a mess...no worries. There are more important things. It’s ok to be imperfect. It’s ok not to put makeup on everyday and it’s ok to wish you had more time for yourself. It’s also ok to forgive yourself that you continue to make the choice to not have time for yourself. Yes, I said choice. If you really want to do something, you make it happen. The reality is, even if self care is something you would like to do more of, you continue to make the choice to take care of others first, and there is nothing wrong with that. This period in our lives where we juggle time spent with our families, work, friends, appointments, is so short and goes by so quickly. Don’t judge yourself for making it a priority, just prioritize with purpose and then forgive yourself for the things that fall between the cracks because none of us is perfect!
You’re a mother to four beautiful children, each with their own unique personalities. It can be challenging for us moms with multiple kids to support them and find ways to connect with each of them. What works well for you?
Currently, I am homeschooling all four and we spend a great deal of time together as a result. Their classroom is in my office and I am regularly going from their room to mine switching roles between teaching and working. As we travel often, they are involved in my business and the COVID situation over the last year forced my children to have school at home, I have realized that this is what is best for them and for me. I am able to tailor their curriculum to where they are and we can accomplish more in less time. This also has the added benefit of allowing me to connect with them individually and as a group and to become more involved with their interests. The more involved I am with their interests, the more I can connect with them and understand them. It’s worth all of the extra time I spend on the juggling act and I feel like this is a silver lining scenario.
Kids can be picky about what they eat! Does everyone in your house enjoy eating the same things? How have you worked through mealtime challenges?
My kids are quite picky and we are all vegetarian. Since they tend to take part in mealtime and prep, they have a lot of opinions about what we are going to eat and they are mostly on the same page so it works out. Also, since homeschooling and working are my reality now, we have ordered from local restaurants far more than usual. This allows them to order what they want and gives me a chance to have one less thing to do, although I enjoy cooking.
Your kids are always with you at all of the sample sales and we love seeing them there to support you! Why is it important to you to involve them in your work?
I feel that the only way for a person to understand what they want to do for work is for them to actually try different roles, and actually work. You can study for years and completely lack the experience to know whether what you have studied equates to a career that you will actually enjoy. Therefore, the fact that I can give my kids the opportunity to learn from many people and work in many roles will give them an advantage in pursuing meaningful careers for themselves. They all enjoy the sample sales so much and love meeting Kickee families.
What do your kids think of your work? Do any of them want to grow up to be just like you? ;) Tell us about a few projects your kids have worked on with you in the past.
I think the kids see my work like any other job. They enjoy when they can be part of it, but it is not something they think about often unless it is brought to their attention (for example, when people recognize them when we are out). For the most part, they are all interested in different parts of the business. Tallulah and Thacher have both created drawings that have turned into prints. The doodles print coming out in the First Day of School collection was made by putting together doodles created by all four kids, and they all take art classes as well as take part in photoshoots, sample sales and other events. I would love to see them take over the business someday, but at the same time, I want them to pursue whatever they find they are passionate about.
What kinds of activities do you and the kids do during your free time? These days it’s easy to just get sucked into the newest movie on Netflix. We are looking for ways to make the most of our family time together.
We travel, scuba dive, cook and create art together. That said, I don’t think there is anything wrong with watching shows together! It’s just better to share that experience, rather than everyone retreating to their own corner and getting sucked into the void of Netflix or Tiktok. Our family obsessively watches anime and it is fun to have something we can all enjoy watching together that doesn’t involve going anywhere (which lately has been difficult to do)!
As moms we have better days than others— days when the kids aren’t listening and our patience wears thin! It’s easy to beat ourselves up for not being supermoms. How do you make it through the harder days?
I am pretty communicative with my kids and I keep my expectations clear. I am sure the way we speak to each other wouldn’t work for everyone, but I would rather have my kids argue and discuss their feelings with me, and also, to allow them to see that I have my own feelings and opinions than trying to always keep things nice. If they are pissing me off, I will tell them. If they are disrespectful to anyone, I will let them know. Equally, they will tell me if they are having a rough day or if I have done something to upset them. I was raised with real and that is the way I choose to be with my kids. I regularly display my mistakes in life and actively talk about them, because I do not believe it is effective to ask so much of our children and then not show them that we too are people who break rules and do things improperly and that we are always learning and growing, not just as children but as adults as well.
You like to travel with your kids often. We are trying to figure out if we are brave enough to do it! What are some of your tips for traveling long distances with children?
My children don’t know it any other way so it’s easy for me to tell you that it is no problem to travel with children. Tallulah was 8 weeks old at her first trade show. The kids can pack for themselves (except for the youngest) and know they inside of an airport and what is allowed on planes. That said, I remember a few tips from when they were younger that helped them to have an easier travelling experience.
1. Bring activities that are not just an ipad. Some small games, stickers, something to color or create. They can’t just stare at screens for hours and you need options for when the battery gives out.
2. “Crying on planes is not allowed.” Yes, I told my kids this. They believed it for years and only recently figured out that I made that up. The older ones even said it to the younger ones after they figured out that is was not true. It was like sharing the Santa secret. I am not sorry...none of them cried on planes.
3. If you are travelling with babies, nurse on take off and landing. This will help the pressure in their ears which is often why little ones cry.
4. Leave your expectations at home. You can make plans and have ideas, but be flexible and willing to abandon them if they don’t work out. This is as true for travelling as it is for life.
You are a busy woman as a mom and business owner! Even though we use calendars and to-do lists, we still can’t remember what we need to do next. How do you manage your time for your workload?
I use an app called Cozi family calendar as I can see everyone’s schedule together in one place. There are many similar apps that allow you to set reminders and view schedules, but that one is easiest for me. Admittedly, I still miss appointments sometimes and there are days that I don’t know what day it is! I do my best to stay on top of everything but I realize that sometimes, things will be missed and I just have to do my best to pick up the slack and reschedule. I have also learned that saying no is ok, which has been a huge improvement in my life.
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